


Lies of Ruined Men

by notcrypticbutcoy



Series: Canon Inserts [2]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: 2x14 coda, Angst, Coda, Family Fluff, M/M, Magnus and Raphael's friendship, Malec
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-29
Updated: 2017-06-29
Packaged: 2018-11-21 05:24:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 955
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11350770
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/notcrypticbutcoy/pseuds/notcrypticbutcoy
Summary: Magnus has avoided so much as mentioning his ordeal with Valentine, until the meeting between Alec and the Downworld leaders. But now it's out, and Raphael isn't happy.(Or: the author chooses a pretentious title, Magnus and Raphael talk about the body-swap, and Magnus feels a bit better.)





	Lies of Ruined Men

**Author's Note:**

> This is a self-indulgent coda based off of a prompt I was given on tumblr for Raphael's reaction to the body swap. I'm denying that Magnus is breaking down in 2x15 and imagining that he's wrapped in love from his family and friends and boyfriend and is happy and joyous and unharmed.
> 
> (This is also known as I AM IN GODDAMN DENIAL.)

"Magnus."

Raphael's voice was sharp as it cut through the air, frigid and unfeeling—which only served to tell Magnus that there was a storm of emotions, intense and unpredictable, brewing just beneath the surface.

Magnus exhaled, pausing in his steps. He was outside the Institute, heading home after Alexander's meeting. He appreciated what Alec was trying to do, even if that particular meeting hadn't quite gone to plan. Alec had caught his hand as he slipped out, trying not to draw too much attention to himself, and thanked him for coming. They both had things to do - Magnus' bed was calling to him - and so they'd parted ways. Although not before Alec had the chance to brush a kiss against his cheek, squeeze his hand, and offer him the kind of smile that made Magnus think that perhaps they were going to be okay.

The wind was starting to pick up, trees rustling ominously as he stood still, waiting for Raphael to catch up but not turning to watch his progress. Darkness was settling over the city, clouds drawing back to show the gleam of the moon situated among glistening stars, overlooking the life down below.

"Magnus," Raphael said again, stepping up beside him, shoes thudding lightly against the short-cut grass.

Magnus trained his eyes on a spot in the distance, focusing on a sparrow hopping along a wrought iron railing. "Raphael."

They were silent for a moment, standing side by side, shoulders close but not quite touching. Something in Magnus was desperate to know what Raphael was thinking; the rest of him wanted to run home and bury himself in work for the next twenty years to block out everything wearing at him.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Raphael asked after a moment, voice quiet but laced with anger that failed to belie his hurt.

"I didn't tell anyone, Raphael," Magnus said, watching as the sparrow tilted it's head to look at something in the grass below.

"The Shadowhunter knew."

"Alec was directly involved. It was impossible for him not to know." Through his peripheries, he could see Raphael clenching and unclenching his jaw, clearly about to ask about it. "Please don't ask me about it now. I'm fine."

"Are you?" Finally, Raphael turned to look at him, eyebrows raised dubiously. "After Valentine Morgenstern invaded your body and paraded around the city in it?"

Closing his eyes, Magnus exhaled through his nose, and tried to force his thoughts away from exactly what Raphael had described.

"And I can't imagine being in the hands of the Nephilim while wearing Morgenstern's face," Raphael said, voice softening.

By Lilith, Magnus couldn't think about that. Not then, not ever. He could still feel the agony rune searing into his flesh, sizzling and burning, memories of events he'd long since repressed breaking through into the forefront of his mind over and over again, pain he couldn't find the words to describe slicing through every cell in his body, infiltrating every hidden corner of his mind and overcoming every facet of his being.

Involuntarily, he shuddered. He snapped his eyes open in time to see the sparrow on the railings leap off and fly into the night.

"I'm fine," Magnus said shortly. "It's over."

"You could have told me."

"I wanted to forget about it," Magnus admitted, because Raphael deserved the truth. He looked over at the man standing beside him, and let his lips curl up at the corners. "It's not because I don't trust you, if that's what you're thinking. You know I do."

Raphael pressed their shoulders together. "I know."

They were quiet again, the cool touch of Raphael's skin through the material of their jackets familiar and oddly calming, and Magnus felt something restless inside him still.

"I hope that Shadowhunter is being good to you, Magnus," Raphael murmured. "Especially now."

Magnus thought about the way Alec had clutched at him when he'd told Magnus he loved him. He thought about the terrified concern in Alec's expression when he'd asked what he could do in the aftermath of Azazel's trick, and the guilt-ridden devastation that had replaced it when Magnus couldn't give him an answer. He thought about Alec smiling at him, hands warm and touch tender when he'd told Magnus he was safe with the High Warlock of Brooklyn, and his willingness to apologise later, after that conversation had gone so disastrously wrong.

"He is," Magnus said, feeling his chest expand and his heart swell, because god, he loved Alec, even if their relationship had been a little tenuous, a little stretched thin, as of late. He wanted to fight for what they had. "He's doing his best. I'm not always an easy person to love."

Raphael looked over at him sharply, eyes narrowed. "I don't care how difficult you are to love. If someone commits to do it, they'd damn well better do it properly."

Magnus patted Raphael's cheek gently, smiling a little wider, melancholy dissipating at Raphael's resulting scowl. "He's nothing like Camille," he assured him, because he knew where Raphael's mind was.

"If he ever does anything like what she did - if he even gets close - I will rip his face off and feed it to your hellhounds."

Magnus snorted, dropping his hand. "Thank you, Raphael."

They stood together a few minutes longer, shifting onto lighter topics. The sparrow flew back onto the railings as they conversed, wind whispering through the trees and rustling their clothes. After a moment, another sparrow landed beside the first; they twittered to each other, shifting and fluffing their feathers, before taking off across the sky, one then the other, disappearing into the night.

Magnus' breath left him. Maybe he'd be okay. Maybe they all would.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed this mini little piece, and if you fancy it, [come follow me on Tumblr](http://notcrypticbutcoy.tumblr.com)!


End file.
